Shifting Slowly

Stop playing so small
Hiding in your corner
Wearing muted colors
Hair pushed back
Light lipgloss on
Covered up
Listening
Not saying how you feel

Speak up
Even if your voice quivers
I’ll listen to you

I see you
I see me
I see your pain
Your shyness
Your ‘not so sure how this will sound’ voice in your head
Just say it

Say what you feel
Even if you don’t know exactly how
Speak of the things that unnerve you
Of the things that keep you up at night
Of the lovers you’ve had
Of the things that shake you to your core
Of the things that have you laughing til you’re doubled over, hiccuping words through tears

Speak the fuck up

Forget when they told you to “hush”
To “keep it together”
To “get a hold of yourself”
That no one wants to hear you whine
No one likes a cry baby

These are the small minded folk
That have never gotten out of their own way
And now want to stand in yours

Walk by
Don’t explain to them
They will never get it

We are all here on our own journey
We can not expect or assume anyone to understand
No one should

Hope comes from within

Within in where? I used to ask this all the time
Where is, within? How do I get there? When I do, what will it feel like?
Nothing like you’d ever imagine.

Be prepared to be awakened
Be fully prepared to be awakened
It is not all bliss
There is so much shit to rifle through
SO. MUCH. SHIT.

Things you had put away
Long forgotten
Never forgiven
Swept out the door
They will come back in with the wind
Create dust on every crevice of you
There is no wiping it away
It will penetrate through parts of you and take over you
You’ll be stuck in the eye of the tornado called your life
Hoping, praying to please, please, please be let out
Just spit me out, you’ll yell
Spit me out, let me fall, bang my head and be done with it

It won’t
It will continue to swallow you up
Until you learn to stay still
Stay completely still
And with eyes wide open watch every single dust particle fall

Each particle a piece of you that has not been put to rest
Your could haves, would haves, should haves
Your will I, could I, would I
Your every question, fear, doubt
Everything you thought you had made peace with when in reality you just walked away from, pretending it never happened

These are the things you must face now
Except it feels different when you’re still
Still feels so good
You haven’t stood still since you started crawling

If you stand still for a minute today
Two tomorrow
Three on Tuesday
Suddenly the dust particles lift up
You see things for what they really are
Not there
Nothing is there
All that’s there is you
In the middle of the room
Standing still
Your breath in
Your breath out
That is all that is living right now
This moment

All those things that took up so much space in you
Have shifted out
Making room for the sound of your heart
Listen to it beat
That’s what counts
Listen to what it is telling you
That’s what counts

The tornado will always swallow you up
Just stand completely still
Watch all the things spin around you
Don’t engage
Just watch
Don’t judge
Just watch it spin past you
And stand still