Shifting Slowly

I realized tonight that we need to write our story’s. If we don’t, they will consume us & stay in our heads & attach themselves to parts of us that don’t heal.

Story’s are meant to be told & not necessarily to an audience. Just maybe to yourself. Just maybe if you write it down & see the words is all you need to move on to the next story of your life. When the story stays in your head it becomes your only story & you don’t allow other stories to come in & be lived because they don’t fit the one you’ve been telling yourself all your life.

For instance, for 20 plus years my story was, I grew up Jehovah’s Witness.  When I left to figure out my own way to know myself and God without this organization, I found that I told that story a million times. I let it sit in my head for years. Telling myself I could never possibly love another God the way I was brought up to love God. And God could never love me if I move on from loving him the way I was taught to love him. That I could only be loved if I loved God the way the Witnesses told me to love him.

I told myself that spirituality meant going to church every week, loving your neighbor & putting & doing everything for everyone before yourself.  I told myself that loving yourself was ego minded. I told myself that meditation was dangerous because it left you open to things & Satan could enter & possess you. All these things. This whole story & all these sub story’s from this story had me stuck! I couldn’t move on to learn other religions or what spirituality really was. Or heaven gitnid, what meditation was. Or truly, who I was without this story. Who was I if I didn’t know this religion? Who am I knowing this religion?

This is what we do though. We stick to the stories in our heads and they seem so real because we lived parts of them but the other parts that get added on, they are parts we haven’t lived. They are the fears of the story getting told. The fear that once the story is out our whole jig is up. What then? Who are we then? What will others see us as then? Instead, what happens if we tell the story? What happens if we help someone because they too have a similar story and suddenly we find a connection. What happens if in telling our story we release ourselves from years of binds that no longer belong to us and don’t help us grow.

We need to stop dwelling on why we need to tell our stories and instead see what happens if we just tell it. If we just release it from our heads to paper. See if it’s so scary once the words are staring back at you. See if you can breathe better knowing they are out. See if there could be other stories you’re not getting to live because you’re still stuck on that one chapter in your life.