Shifting Slowly

It’s so important to sit in the pain and many of us don’t. We don’t for FEAR we have to relive it over and over and feel that pain.  Our greatest challenge to healing is fear. We need to feel the pain to know we can walk through to the other side of the pain. To know that in the uncomfortableness we make it through. Running from feelings of discomfort only brings more discomfort because we are setting ourselves up to believe we can’t handle it.  We have allowed ourselves to believe that only good feelings are right feelings. Only feelings of love and positivity and comfort and joy are the ones we should be feeling all the time. However, the reality of many of us having even one of these feel good feelings all the time is slim to none.

We need to be in a constant state of working on ourselves in order to heal and be free from pain. We will not be totally free from pain and once you accept that, it is easier to understand that just because we are not free from the pain it does not mean we can’t learn to live with it, to have the right tools to cope with it.  Living free from pain is something God had wanted for us from the beginning.  

Going through painful times in your life and reliving them makes them seem real all over again. However, living with the pain, does not mean you need to relive the emotions and feelings that went with it.  

Everyday we judge ourselves. We tell ourselves we can’t do things or be in situations or walk through certain doors because we think we know we can’t handle it.  I say this and I say it once, we know NOTHING until we have actually gone through it. We can assume all we want but to know, to walk through, is nothing near what you think you know.  

Sit with it. Don’t wish it away.  Don’t pray it away. Don’t push it away.  Sit and pray that you are given the strength to sit there long enough to cry and maybe forgive yourself, forgive the other person and let go. I can’t promise you will.  Healing takes time. It takes letting go of this imaginary power you think you have by holding on to hurts and not forgiving people. Of letting go of control. Of trusting that someone else has this for you.  That if you just let go a little bit, it will release itself from you.

I can only promise that when you’re sitting in that pain and not judging it, not judging the why, the how, the, “what now?”, the, “why me?” that after you’re ready to stand up and join the world again, you’ll notice that a part of you was left back in that pain and a new part of you has been cracked open. A part of you you never thought existed. The small part of you that is stronger than you assumed you could be. The part of you that judged yourself before you knew you could sit in that pain.  The part of you that realizes maybe you can do this. Maybe you can rise from the ashes. The part of you that knows you will. You’re still a little scared but a part of you dares you to do it again. To sit in the other pains of your life because this feeling right here. This feeling of healing, of cracking open parts of yourself you never knew existed, you want more of it. You want more of yourself, this real self of yours. Healing becomes a journey. It becomes this journey you want to find out more and more about because you’ve spent so much time in pain that the healing makes you stronger and happier and you’ll want to share it with those you love. You’ll want to help others. And that is our ultimate purpose; to heal ourselves so we can help heal others.